Even more undignified than this

This week there is a high school youth group here from Chapel Rock Christian Church in Indiana. Last night, we had a youth concert with them and the youth of Lifeline’s church, and we brought the house down! (In light of recent events in Haiti, I just want to clarify that nothing literally came down, and everything is still firmly standing after last night.) It was an incredible three hours. They would sing a few songs and then the American students would perform something. Some men of Lifeline’s church have a wonderful brass ensemble and they also played beautiful jazz music. Many musical talents that God has given were displayed last night. I also had the opportunity to sing with my Haitian friend, Gracienne. She taught me a beautiful song in Creole earlier this week. Towards the end, there was much dancing and singing unto the Lord. It was so much fun for everyone to be able to worship our God together in song and dance, despite a language barrier. It makes me so excited for heaven some day! I’ve experienced incredible worship here in Haiti many times, but that was just, wow, a whole new level! I’m reminded of David in 2 Samuel 6:5 that says, “David and the whole house of Israel were celebrating with all their might before the Lord, with songs and with harps, lyres, tambourines, sistrums, and cymbals.” And later in verse 21-22 when David says, “I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes.” I need to be so passionate about praising the Lord that I’m willing to look foolish before men and forego my dignity (appreciation of the formality or gravity of an occasion or situation) in order to praise the Lord!

Joy and Happiness

I love all my patients, but some grab my heart a little bit more than others. One of those people is Anne Rose. She is a beautiful 28 year old woman who works in Lifeline’s clinic as a nurse and grew up in the children's home (orphange). During the earthquake, something fell on her leg and she suffered a laceration. It was stitched back together but was not cleaned well enough, and thus became severely infected. She was one of the people who was later taken on the Navy ship that was here for a long time working closely with Lifeline for surgery for her leg. She was immobilized for a while after that and was not able to bend her knee at all, and has since been walking with a cane. She began seeing me last week when the doctors were here to begin therapy to get her knee flexion back again. When we began on Monday, she could only bend her knee to 52 degrees (90 degrees would be a right angle between your thigh bone and lower leg). One of the problems limiting her flexion is that she has a lot of scar tissue. In order to try and break up that tissue, you have to do a massage over it; unfortunately, this is extremely painful for her. The next few days, Dr. Bill came in with me and did a lidocaine injection into her scar tissue to try and separate the tissues via hydraulic pressure. This too was very painful for her (until the lidocaine kicked in) to the point of tears, and Anne Rose is a very strong woman. After the first day we worked together, I knew I had caused her a lot of pain, evident from the tears in her eyes. But she sat up and gave me the biggest hug I’ve had since being here and said, “Thank you my sister. I love you so much.” It hurt me to see her in so much pain, knowing that I was the cause of her physical pain, but we both knew it’s what had to be done. We worked her very hard and pushed her through her pain and by the end of the week, she got to 72 degrees of knee flexion which is pretty incredible.

Dr. Bill and I went with Anne Rose out behind Lifeline to one of the many Tent Cities to visit Anne Rose’s tent. It was about 4:00 in the afternoon. These tents are made out of blue tarp and arched with PVC type supports. The floor is the dirt ground. They were tall enough for me to stand in and probably about 30 feet long, but split in two so two families could each have half. When we walked past the door, you could feel the radiating heat from inside. We went in and were suffocated by the heat. The lens on my camera fogged up, and I couldn’t even take a good picture. I don’t know how to describe the heat that we felt. Maybe 130 degrees?? Their beds sat on the ground and were made from cement blocks, a few pieces of cardboard for padding on top, and then a sheet. Seeing the way some people live here has become matter-of-fact to me. I don’t cry every time I look out into the field and see the hundreds of tents. I say that with shame, but at the same time, I know it would be hard for me to do anything if I was overwhelmed with emotion by the reality of life in Haiti every time I looked up. But when I walked into Anne Rose’s tent that day, reality hit. It’s not just some people living in some tent in some other country as a result of some terrible disaster. No. These are real people, no different than you or I, God’s beautiful creation, and this is how they are forced to live because of the circumstances they are in. I’ve heard many of their horror stories from January 12, and it breaks my heart.

The other night at devotions with the workteam, one of the women was moved to tears by the reality she saw that day in Tent City. We often talk about how happy the Haitian people seem despite their circumstances, but this woman said she didn’t see happiness that day; she saw pain and sadness. Keith, workteam coordinator, responded to her reflections with something that enlightened the group. He reminded us that there’s a difference between joy and happiness. Happiness is based on our circumstances. Few Haitians would say they’re happy with their circumstances. But joy comes from the Lord and is independent of our circumstances. No matter what life is like around them, the people here who know the Lord, have more joy in their life than words can describe. “…weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)

Sent by the I AM

The first day I was in clinic and left very discouraged, Karen Lydick (workteam leader for Lifeline) encouraged me by saying that even if I only end up helping one of the people that I saw that day, it would be worth it. Let me tell you, PRAISE THE LORD!!!! I saw a woman for the third time on Monday named Passianna. She is a beautiful 55-60 year old lady (it’s common in Haiti to not know your birthday or exactly how old you are). She has been having right should pain and decreased range of motion. She is so cute because we play “my games” in therapy where I have her reach for cones that I’m holding in various positions so that she has to move her shoulder in all directions (thanks GL Rehab girls at home for teaching me so much!), and she always looks at me and giggles before she reaches for the next cone. She thinks it’s so much fun. In church services the Haitian people frequently raise their hands and wave them in the air and say things like, “Meci Jezi” which means thank you Jesus. So in therapy, I told Passianna that she needs to be able to raise her arms and wave her hands and say “Meci Jezi” all the time because it’s good therapy and God will like to hear it too. So she raised both arms as high as she could and repeated “Meci Jezi” multiple times. After that we were done with therapy so I asked her what I could pray with her for before she left. She said, “Pray for my shoulder pain and that I can be baptized.” Whoa!!! Let’s talk about that! I thought she was already a Christian because of past conversations. We talked for 20 minutes and I was able to tell her all about Jesus and God’s love for us, and how we can accept Jesus into our lives. When she said she wanted to ask Jesus into her life, I had her pray repeating after me. It was really neat because I would pray a phrase, my translator would say it, and then she would repeat him. Then I told her she had to come find me at church on Sunday because I would be looking for her, and then I would introduce her to Pastor Luc, and she agreed.

It was such an amazing opportunity, and something that I was not expecting, but it was a great reminder to me of why I am here- not just in Haiti but in this world. It’s to share the love of Christ with everyone in hopes that those who don’t know Jesus may find the richness of living life in Him so that eternity can be spent with Him in heaven. I know that God is using me here to bless each patient I have seen, and sharing Christ’s love with them is important, but this is the ultimate reason for everything I do- so that people who don’t know Christ may desire to know Him personally because they’ve experienced His love. When I first started thinking about wanting to do physical therapy, it was secondary to my first love of mission work and Haiti. I wanted to combine the two. but I didn’t know how God would ever do that. I think He showed me this week.

(Below are 2 pictures of Passianna and me doing our therapy on Monday!)

Haiti 2010

Click here to view these pictures larger

Am I not sending you?

Well, if you remember my first post, to say that I was overwhelmed coming into this trip knowing one of my main objectives was to create and carry out rehab/therapy programs for Haitians injured in January’s earthquake was a little bit of an understatement. I knew the whole time that God would be faithful in whatever He was asking me to do and that all He needed of me was to be willing to be His hands and feet. But the reality is that I’m still human, and though I was confident in what God could do, I lacked confidence in what I could do. The story of Gideon (Judges 6) has become a favorite story of mine this year. Gideon and I have become best friends because we relate so much to each other. God sent Gideon out into battle with this promise, “[I] am with you, mighty warrior.” Gideon doubted, not God, but himself, and to this God replies, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?” (6:14) (The answer to this rhetorical question is that the I AM was indeed sending Gideon.) I felt my situation was quite similar. I needed to go in the strength and knowledge that I had (that God has blessed me with) and trust that the I AM was sending me, no matter how unqualified I may have been.

After my first day in clinic and 12 evaluations, I left so discouraged. I knew that God still had a plan in it, but I didn’t know how I was going to help any of those 12 patients and I had more evaluations to do a couple days after that. But, God gave me the encouragement I needed. The next therapy day, I saw about 6 patients but felt more comfortable in knowing how to treat them and where to begin. When God calls us and promises to be with us, I think He does that in different ways. Sometimes it’s in the form of the resources He puts around us that can help us get through where He’s put us. For me, those resources were people back home (my “healthcare network” as I call them) who have been great in responding to my questions in how to treat patients.

God sent along another resource this past week: 3 doctors, a dentist, a scrub nurse, and a military paramedic, all from Indiana. I learned so much from these people being in clinic with them all week. Dr. Bill Rutherford, MD and Dr. Doug Harty, DDS, were particularly helpful and encouraging. I was still working on my own doing therapy while they were doing surgeries and pulling teeth, but I frequently stopped in their rooms to ask them their opinion. They were more than willing to offer their assistance, but more than once, Dr. Bill made a comment like, “Well, I can look at your patient, but you have way more experience and knowledge than I do. You’re the expert.” I laughed hysterically in my head. “Does this experienced doctor have any idea what he just said to me- the 22 year old who just graduated 4 weeks ago?” At one point during the week I thanked Doug for his help and encouragement saying how much I had learned from him. He responded, “Hey, ya know, that’s what it’s all about, and it goes both ways. I learned from you too today.” The clinic staff would meet on the roof every night for what Katrina (other intern who had been here for 5 weeks and left this morning) and I referred to as “doctor talk”. We were with them one night around a picnic table when I realized the professionals I was sitting with- true experts in their fields. They warmly welcomed us and treated us as equals. It was really neat, and I was sad to see them leave this morning. Now, to say that I’ve gained a little confidence this week would be the understatement!

More than sparrows

I think miracles happen all the time in our daily life; however, most of the time, we write them off as coincidences and forget to look for God’s presence in it. As I wrote in a previous post, last Sunday was Mother’s Day in Haiti. We were trying to put together gifts to give to Lifeline’s churches so they could give them to the mothers in their congregations. The church in Grand Goave is the largest; we had to come up with 300 similar items for gifts. Our goal was to put together bags of soap, shampoo, toothbrushes, hair clips, etc. It was suggested that we try and find washcloths but were later told to forget about the washcloths because finding some would be like finding a needle in a haystack, let alone 300. Heather, Erin, and I were out in the warehouse (for those of you who have been to Lifeline, this is a brand new addition and a huge blessing!) rummaging through boxes to find items. In the search, I came across a palate labeled, “washcloths and linens”. The three of us tried to decide if it was even worth it to unbury this palate and dig into each of its boxes. We eventually decided to go for it, but prayed first, asking God for 300 to be there or that He would cut and hem towels in the boxes into washcloths (it reminded us of Jesus feeding the 5000 ;-). We opened the first box- 25, 2nd- 7, 3rd- 33. We kept going and nine boxes later, we counted 310 washcloths! The three of us gathered again to give thanks and praise to God.

Did the washcloths save any lives? No. Did the mothers need washcloths? No; they wouldn’t have thought any different had they not been part of their gift. But we were reminded that God does care about every detail of our life no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, and He wants us to care enough to present all of those things to Him. Luke 12:6-7 says this: “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

Lifeline Physical Therapy (that's what I call it anyway)

I've seen a lot of patients in therapy the past couple of weeks; I think I'm about up to 25 by now. I care about all of my patients and pray for each of them and that God would miraculously heal them, but there are a handful who have grabbed at my heart a little more than the others.

Two brothers were trapped in a building for a day that collapsed during the earthquake on January 12. The older, 19 year old brother has foot palsy (has no movement over either lower leg extremities) and when he came in last week, walked with 2 crutches and assitance from his younger brother. Because he had no control over his feet or lower legs, he would trip over his feet when he would walk. I took an Ace bandage and wrapped his foot into dorsiflexion to keep his feet up to help give him more control over his feet and taught his brother how to do it also. He came in wearing a ragged pair of flip flops that were doing him no good, so then I went on a mission to find him a pair of tennis shoes from the clothing pantry Lifeline has. I prayed that God would show me a pair of tennis shoes that would fit. Unfortunately, I could find no tennis shoes but I did find a more durable, hiking-type kind of sandal with straps that go all around the foot. It fit perfectly, and he was very excited about his new shoes. I Ace wrapped him, put his new sandals on, and asked him to walk. He walked so much better and was so excited! I then taught him how to manage steps better because though both legs are very weak, his left is slightly stronger. Steps are still challenging for him, but today when he and his brother came in, I offered to help him into the building (which has a large step up to get into) but he said, "no" and then came in by himself with out my help or his brother's. He had a big grin on his face, as did his brother.

The younger brother is 15 and was also in the collapsed building. He had a proximal humerous fracture and probably a scapular fracture as well. Though healed, he is having a lot of pain and is still pretty point tender and lacking significant shoulder range of motion. I had the brothers both begin their range of motion/strengthening programs today. I had the older brother on his stomach doing simple knee curls with no added resistance and asked him to do 3 sets of ten. He got through it but it was really challenging for him and he was very fatigued afterward. After I finished helping the older brother, I had the younger doing assisted PROM. He got through his first set of 10 and when we began the second, he only got to 3 reps and had to break because of pain and fatigue. I let him rest a little and asked if he was ready to go again. I think I told him we could just do as many as he could. His brother said something and my translator Jonny started laughing. I asked what the older brother said, and Jonny repeated to me, "If I had to do it ten times, you're going to too!" I laughed out loud. Both of them were really fatigued by the time they left; I think I pushed them pretty hard. But I already love working with both of them. Maybe you shouldn't have favorites, but even though I care about all of my patients and pray for miraculous healing, these a couple of a handful that really have a special place in my heart already. I'm so thankful I'll be here all summer to help them; I know we'll see great progress with both of them!